Can You Change People?

I have been thinking about this for a the last couple of weeks... The thing is that up until recently I thought that if you are nice to people and if you really put all your heart into something, you can help people to transform themselves into something better... Generally, I would say that I am more of an idealist who believes that every person's inner self is good and it is the circumstances that make us do bad things. Also, I used to believe that I, one person, have the power to let the people around me to reach into themselves, to reach into that "inner good" and let that dominate over the bad. Recently, however, I started to think that it often takes more than one person to do that. I realized that sometimes, no matter how hard I try, if I am the only one who is trying, then nothing is going to change. You can't really change people, unless THEY are willing to change. I know that I am still going to keep trying, but I won't be as optimistic and as convinced in my abilities as I used to be. It is hard when you see people around you "screwing up" but sometimes I guess there is nothing to do but let them "screw up" and hopefully they will learn from their mistakes, or they won't... I am not claiming to be an expert on anything, but I do know that I have had more life experiences than some of the people I know in my life, but again, those are my experiences, and I guess they have to have their own in order to learn...

Anyways, this has been on my mind for a couple of days, so here it is :)

As for me, I am pretty content with life right now. I have had some hard days in the last couple of weeks, but finally I think that my life is on the right track, and I am excited for things to come, so that's a really good feeling. I am moving into a new place tomorrow, and I am sooooo looking forward to it, mostly because we'll be decorating the house and I absolutely love doing that!!! I am starting a new job in about a week and all I can say is that I think it is as perfect as it can be at this point.

I hope that the sun is shining for all of the people that I know and the people that I don't know too :)

A Sad Story :(

This is my saddest animal story so far.... today I was walking back to work after lunch, and in the street I saw this huge, black crow eating something... I generally don't like crows and try to avoid them, but today for some reason I wanted to see what he was eating... so I got closer and I realized that he was eating a chipmunk that was still alive :( The poor chipmunk was almost dead, I did not know what to do... I got close and shooed the nasty crow off, and then tried to put the chipmunk in a "safe spot" closer to the sidewalk... the poor chipmunk was really flat (and since all of this was taking place in the middle of the road, I am guessing he got run over by a car :( and could not walk, but when I pushed him a little he tried to follow me and keep walking... it was the saddest thing ever... He looked really bad, and I did not know what to do with him. I could not take him along because I had to go back to work, and I did not know if I could call someone - I doubt someone would want to help me save a half-dead chipmunk. So, after deliberating for about a minute, I just made the most cruel decision I have ever made - I decided to keep walking... I was so sad to leave him there to die, but at the same time, I felt helpless, I felt that there was nothing I could do to help the poor chipmunk... I felt so guilty for the rest of the day - I know that the poor chipmunk is not human, but still, it is a life... I have heard a similar story from a friend before, and when she was sad, I did not really understand it and even made fun of her a little. Now I feel bad :(

Well, I guess that is the way mother nature works (or at least that's what I have been telling myself all day)...

What Do You Say to Your Heart?

Have you ever been in a situation where your heart and your mind are battling each other, and you know that your mind is right, and yet, the heart is hurting so much that you finally give up and you go with the heart instead of the mind? And then, once you've done that, then your mind starts playing with you, and it only gets worse... I just wish that our hearts and minds would be a little more synchronized... or at least they could talk to each other and be capable of reaching a consensus :) All of this has been giving me quite a bit of trouble recently, and sometimes I feel that I've got a dilemma, but at the same time, it seems that when your mind knows that you are doing the right thing, you just have to deal with the pain in heart and let it heal itself... I guess that's just the way it works, and there is no easy way out. I can hear my mind saying: "deal with it!" while the heart is pulling to the other side....

Surprises!

This morning an unexpected phonecall woke me up - it was my frined from Canada who was the first person to help me when I got to the United States 5 years ago - he was the person who picked me up at the airport, took me to shopping to get pillows and blankets, bought me my first American dinner.... I was so happy to hear from him! After talking to him, I got out of bed and checked my email, another email, weather, facebook.... and guess what? One of my best friends from Norway whom I met during my first semester in College is coming to Minneapolis next fall! What had started out as a bad morning (largely due to the fact that I have been sick for about a month now, and I am still coughing and sneezing...) all of a suddent turned into a happy begining of the day. Sometimes I just wish that I could get all the people I love and I am friends with in one spot, on some tropical island or something, and we could all live there happily... I am sure I am not the first one to have that idea, so sorry if you feel like I "stole" it from you :) hehe.... Maybe, if you are a nice person, we can live on the same island :)
Well, now I better go and start thinking about the Constitutional Law exam I have coming up tomorrow.... aaaaaahhhhhhhh..... I can't wait to be done - I am exhausted, I really feel like I have no energy left, especially given the fact that I have been sick forever and I was caughing, and sneezing and blowing my nose all throughout the 3 hour Contracts exam on Monday (sorry for those who sat anywhere close to me at that exam - believe me, I did not want to be coughing and blowing my nose every 5 minutes either :)) Anyways, I hope that the weather is nice wherever you are (it's pretty nice here, notwithstanding the fact that it SNOWED last week!?!)

FINALS!

Hey you!
Welcome! I am starting this blog in the middle of my law school finals, but I thought it would be a good way to take a break from Contracts and Constitutional Law =) I will keep this one short, but I will write more once I go back to being a "normal" person again, i.e. no more 16-hour study days... Thanks for stoppin' by!